Sacred sorrowing

~ Companion Animal Loss ~

In the presence of death, we are reminded of the beauty and fragility of life, and the profound interconnectedness of all things. —John O’Donohue

The intimacy and unconditional love that we share with our animal companions is profound. And so is the loss. When our animal companions die, our hearts shatter into a milliion pieces leaving us engulfed in a tsunami of sadness and loss.

For many of us, the loss of a beloved animal companion is more devastating than the loss of a loved human. We find ourselves in a space that is only accessible to deeply grieving souls, to those who understand the shaky landscape of loss and the vast wilderness of separation that we now have to navigate.

Entering into a long and emotional goodbye, we can learn how to build a sacred container for our grief— a place where we feel safe to let our tears rise and fall, a place to do our sorrowing where the fullness of our grief is welcome.

“Grief offers a wild alchemy that transmutes suffering into fertile ground. We are made real and tangible by the experience of sorrow, adding substance and weight to our world. In a very real way grief ripens us, pulls up from the depths of our souls what is most authentic in our beings.”

—Francis Weller, author of The Wild Edge of Sorrow

Your Grief Matters

Soon after our loss, we can be overwhelmed with emotion, riding giant sea swells of tears that leave us utterly exhausted and floating in a huge wake of grief. Depending on the circumstances of an animal’s death, intense feelings of anger and guilt can also arise. (Very often there is euthanasia guilt.)

It’s important to honor ourselves with kindness and deep care at this time.

Grieving follows its own natural rhythm. You can’t push any part of the grieving process, it moves at its own pace.

loving someone comes with the risk of losing them

Grief is the holy embrace of that love

Grieving is soul medicine

the antidote. by ullie-kaye

the best medicine you can bring

for sadness is not joy. It is not

telling them that they need to

move on or get over it or realize

how much worse things could be.

no. the medicine for a spirit in

mourning is tenderness. and warmth.

and compassion. and connection.

and presence. sit with someone in

their grief and let them cry their

ugly tears. do not shine and scurry

grief away. They must walk through it.

this is love. to abandon all that we

think we know and be so full of grace

that we are invited in to partake

in someone else’s darkest moments.

what an honor it is to simply be a light.

the antidote for sadness is love.

it is always love.

We can all learn how to grieve well

It’s time to normalize the process of grieving for our companion animals. Often, people tell us to get over our grief because it was only a dog, or cat, or donkey, or turtle, or bird. However, for many of us, losing a companion animal is more devastating than losing a loved human. We love our animals unconditionally. Without bounds. With our hearts opened wide.

Losing our companion animals can be devastating and often we don’t know what to do with all the feelings and emotions that arise. One of my teachers, Francis Weller, writes about grief as “something feral, outside the ordained and sanctioned behaviors of our culture.” He calls grief, “alive, wild, untamed.”  Yes, we mourners live in that wild and untamed field of emotions and feelings. Our grief can arrive as a gentle summer rain and then without warning jump out of a closet, leaving you whimpering or howling. Or you can feel strong like a mountain and not grieve the loss at all, however, there is still something deep inside of you that silently mourns, it’s just not available to you to fully feel.

We don’t know how grief will arrive. But it does.

You don’t have to grieve alone…

I would love to traverse the wild terrain of grief with you. . .

Debra has dedicated her life to connecting her heart to Anima Mundi, the soul of the world. . .

Debra holds space for the deepest sorrows of others.She has always felt a deep connection with all living beings and brings to light both the grief we carry when we lose a beloved animal companion and the vital spark of heart radiance that opens in the process.

As a psyche-soma grief practitioner, grief/nature ritualist, Somatic Archaeologist and heart activist, Debra has been on a life-long journey exploring the emotions and somatic language of grief—her own, her clients, and that of nonhuman animals. She developed a deeply healing approach of working with grief called Sacred Sorrowing, which synthesizes nature-based grief rituals, eco-mourning, depth writing, expressive art for grieving animal companion loss and kin-centric centered meditation, breath and rewilding practices. All these methodologies are powerful expressions that honor the love that remains after our losses.

We live in grief phobic world where many people circumvent the process of deep mourning. It’s understandable to want to turn away from the stabbing heart-pain of loss, and when we do, we lose a vital connection to our hearts and part of our souls—mourning what and who we have lost is a natural part of being human. Bypassing our grief can leave us physically, emotionally and spiritually numb, with the stuck energies of unattended grief still living in our bones, blood, organs and cells resulting in tension, energy blocks, depression and dis-ease.

Sitting with clients in person or on zoom, before, during and after the death of a beloved companion, Debra meets you with deep listening and compassion, helping you through the grieving process. Having lost two soul dogs of her own, each wildly different experiences, she has personally experienced the intense grief that comes with losing animals that are so deeply connected to our hearts.

Specializing in Depth Grief Council, Grief Ritual and Care, Debra offers:

~ Depth Grief Council and Care before, during and after the death of your animal companion.

~ Support with the emotional impact of medical emergencies.

~ Navigation around the burden of a euthanasia decision and the guilt that can arise afterwards.

~ Nature based sorrowing rituals and ceremonies with the deceased body or ashes, memories and spirit of your beloved animal companion.

~ Somatically based deep ecology mediations and rewilding practices that support grieving with the natural world.

~ Writing practices that tend both grief and praise, heartache and delight, birthing, dying and the life in-between .

~ Mentoring children to support them in preparation for the death of their pet and the grief that arises after death.

people who have worked with debra are saying…

Debra Rosenman is truly a gifted transformational healer and grief tender. She is one of the most Compassionate people I know and one of the most knowledgeable about grief, especially around animals and nature. With a unique ability to go to the depths of another’s sorrow, she helped me safely feel my feelings, better understand the role grief has played in my life, and ultimately, transform the grief I was carrying for decades into experiences of beauty and joy.

K Burr, Santa Fe, New Mexico Watercolorist,book illustrator

After losing my precious dog Sky in March 2018, I felt a terrible sense of loss, greater than I had ever imagined I could feel, with overwhelming sadness and a dreadful sense of guilt about whether I had gotten things right towards the end of her life. More than three years after losing Sky, I was still grieving and realized I needed to speak to a professional about it. Debra Rosenman came into my life at the perfect time.

Debra led me through a grief session that helped release some of my guilty feelings and sadness. In just one session, my understanding about loss started to shift. The outpouring of emotion and tears was overwhelming and there was no judgement from Debra, only love, patience and support. With Debra guiding me through my grief over a few sessions and helping me manage my emotions around loss, I am now able to talk about Sky with a smile and to reminisce about all the good times we shared without feeling guilt or heavy sorrow.

Anja Gilmartin, Cumbria, United Kingdom Writer, Tale Trails Creator

Debra helped me get through Cassidy’s death, which was the hardest thing I ever went through. I had my dog for 15 years and was completely lost without her. Debra was very kind and compassionate and took me through various rituals that helped bring peace to my broken heart. She really understood why I was feeling so guilty when it came to euthanizing Cassidy but I came to understand that I wasn’t a bad person for making that choice.

 Anna P.

Upcoming zoom Workshops for grievers

The Heartbreak of Saying Goodbye

dates and details to be announced soon